******FUCKING A PLUNGER****** *Auther: Annoying Nut Bug * ***************************** Fucking your plunger There are many ways to have sex with a plunger. It doesn't matter if you are a girl or a guy, you too can have the fun of having a special relationship with your plunger. THE METHODS: A) Through The Anus Both men and women can enjoy this method. (Which, my dad taught me!) Now, make sure you have a bottle of vaseline. Ok, after you've purchased your bottle of vaseline, go to a private room and lock the door. (Or leave it unlocked if, for some reason, you want to be caught. freak.) Take off you pants and remove your undergarments (if any) and put on some nice mood music. I suggest Marvin Gaye or the Misfits, preferably the Misfits. After you've done that, take the vasel- ine and rub up and down and all around the handle of the plunger. (And anywhere else you want to rub it on.) Procede to lay on your back. Lift your legs up in the air or back by your head. Be sure to secure your knees when they are held or back because this next part is going to sting! (So i've been told.) Begin to let the handle of the plunger penetrate your rectum. You are going to have to feel through the pain. If you are a homosexual you may even think this tickles. Let the plunger go in as deep as you can handle it. Begin to push and pull the the handle back and forth. Ignore the squish sounds. They probably aren't healthy, but your sticking a motherfucking plunger in your ass so what the fuck were you expecting?!?! Now, while doing this begin stroking your cock or rubbing your vagina (or both!) until you get off and then dismount the handle and repeat until you are satisfied. B) In The Vagina: If your a girl, and you wish to insert the handle into your vagina, follow these instructions. Insert the the handle of the plunger into your vagina. Treat it like a penis. There is no need for vaseline. You see, when you start to stimulate your clitoris, girls, you will start to secrete vaginal fluids. You can use these fluids to make the insertion and desertion of the handle more smoothly. Let it poke your clitoris until you lose control of your emotion and then pull the handle out and start again when you feel like it. Be sure to wash the yucky pussy juices off the handle, because that's gross! (And fucking a plunger is not!) C) With Your Penis This one actually involves the plunging part of the plunger. Make sure your plunger is not a used one because that would be fucking gross. (As opposed to fucking a plunger to begin with!) Watch some pornography or think about a hot bitch with a loose pussy that snaps. (When a vagina "snaps," that means the muscle control in this vagina is so strong it can grab the scrotum and pull on it without her whole body moving. Now, let me tell you, these snapping vaginas are very rare and special. If you ever see one, (You know, outside cutting grass or catching small animals by their tails.) fuck it immediately! Well anyway, when you feel your aroused, take your plunger and being plunging on the whole groin area. Suction out all the air till is nice and tight on your balls. (Watch out, your meats can only take seven pounds of pressure before your sick perversion becomes a fucked up accident.) After you feel you have pulled enough air from the area begin humping it. (Like your mom.) If you break the seal, don't worry just repump the plunger. NOTE: If you have a penis over one inch. You will need to cut a whole on the end of the plunger small enough so there is no air that can escape. (If you make to whole too big, fill the excess with tissues.) Now, you have a tight suction on your balls and a tight hole to fuck. (kinda like popping a cherry with another bitch sucking your balls.!) Now let is be known I have never had sexual relations with my plunger. I sat down one day and decided to think how it could be possible to fuck a plunger. Enjoy and don't get caught or something!