28 LAUGHING WAYS TO INSULT YOUR FRIENDS AND ENEMIES: --------------------------------------------------- Why don't you act like a human being or don't you do impersonations? You're NUMBER ONE in my book. My book is called "Creeps I Have Known". You're bound to marry well - everyone is above you. There's nothing I won't do for you - and I'm going to keep on doing it. You're outstanding in your field, and that's where you should be - out standing in your field. When I want your remarks, I'll rattle your cage. Would you mind reaching into your heart and getting me a piece of ice? I'm forming an attachment for you - it fits right over your mouth. Keep talking - you'll think of something to say. You're just what the doctor ordered - shock treatment. Why don't you take a powder - preferably arsenic. You came from nothing, and you brought it with you. You've given me something to live for - REVENGE. You're not the person you used to be - and you never were. You have so much ugly, you could open a branch face. If there's nothing to say, I'm sure you'll say it. You're quite a charmer - I'll get you a snake and a flute. Do I need you? About as much as Custer needed more Indians. Do I need you? About as much as the "Titanic" needed more water. You're the kind of person I can't get over, so I'll go around you. Let me say three little words that will make you dance on air: "Go hang yourself!" Your heart's in the right place - it's your head I'm worried about. You're making a fool of yourself, and I've never seen better craftmanship. When people ask me what I see in you, what can I tell them? I'd love to paint you - do you prefer varnish ot lacquer? I've heard alot about you - now let's hear your side of the story. I'd like to help you out - Which way did you come in? Of course I'll give you a hand - right across the mouth. *******************************************************************************