			      D-Ned
			 by Andy Zaslow

  This is not copyrighted (c) 1984 by D.  Griffith.  If you really want to use
it for commercial purposes, go ahead.  Keep in mind(s), however, that everyone
else in this world has the right to make as many copies of this document as
they see fit.

  meln torp prot nabble, nabble zot nab - Richard Terrill, D.  Griffith

  bork - Roland Bevan

  Once upon a time, there was a potato.  This potato was however not a potato
but a pink and green striped flea named Ned.  Unfortunately, Ned was
color-blind and unable to smell that he was pink and green (or green and pink
depending how you looked at him, but it did not matter when he looked at him
because he was color-blind or so he thought and we thought because it said so
above).  He jumped off a cliff (with a velocity, v and acceleration, a).
Because Ned (or Joe as his enemies called him) took Physics I and he (or she)
was unable to calculate his velocity upon impact, he survived even though the C
compiler will not arrive until next week.  So, it was just as will that he did
know what the SWITCHe statement did because Moon Jockey Chung could not even be
understood by Sam (also known as Ned or Joe or Sam or Ned or Joe or Sylvia or
Bob or the cold little crumpled little piece of white little small piece of
paper on the old large wooden dirty floor while MJC explains the C language).
Suddenly!!!  ( <-- not a real sentence) An oncoming train hit Ned (or...) and
due to his background in physics and materials Ned (or...) destroyed the train
with its poorly calculated momentum and was sentenced to life in prison for N
years as N -> oo (infinity, that is) and there he stays whoever he really is.

=================================================================

		    Part II  (oo years later)

  Ned, who happened to be dead, was walking around his cell for he (or she) was
a one celled organism and became entangled in his DNA and in the process split
one of his genes into one piece two thirds as long as the original, one pi/4 as
long as the original, one sqr(e/3.2) as long as the original, and one 0/1342 as
long as the original.  This would have created quite remarkable affects but as
we said, Ned was dead.

  A few days or weeks or years or bergs (a unit of measurement named after
Chris Berg) later is was still oo years later and Ned was released from prison.
Ned was excited and frolicked through fields of flowers because he went and
stored that in location 505, realizing at the same time that he did not know
whether the location was expressed in decimal, hex, octal or any other integer
base K, where K>5.  This matter did not trouble Joe long for he looked up and
saw the JMS (Jump to Subroutine) on the screen and his mind(s) or lack thereof
was totally filled with the question "Why is the letter M used in the JMS
statement?" He may have realized that it was the "M" from the word Jump, but
his parser was unable to decode the question because he used double quotes
around the 'M' and not single quotes.  His brain then hung and he walked around
aimlessly until he tripped over a cold boot and found himself vacationing in
Africa.  Not having any ROM he had to wait many years while hundreds of monkeys
randomly keyed in code until power-up was achieved.  Joe lived happily for many
years  epily for many
years O €0TCs as ```poNed (opi@ intimeoldoldoMJwhi i pinà C hep C 
BNed Sy, h intD. € livlivlclclcOM cthe til   laiCH  $ use , hexni!exp